Friday, September 18, 2015

New Travel Guidelines

Warning that the purchase of three new Gulfstream IV Private Jets to transport CEO Karla Fidiora, her clothes, shoes, bodyguards, publicists, exercise equipment, lap pool and husband on business trips may be giving employees the wrong ideas, corporate travel reiterated several newly adopted policies:
  • Direct flights are no longer permitted (non-stop flights were barred last year). Corporate travel has reached an agreement with Mid-Iowa Airlines to use the Quad Cities International Airport in Dubuque as a hub for all cross country flights greater than 500 miles. In the majority of cases, this will not add more than two days of travel to any individual itinerary.
  • PH travelers are expected to offer their meals on all flights to other passengers for a reasonable price, which must be collected and returned in your travel expense report.
  • whenever possible, travelers who rent cars should use the vehicle to sleep in overnight. sleeping in PH office parking lots is not permitted, however corporate travel has reached an agreement with the east palo alto recycling authority for permission to allow employees to park their vehicles and sleep in them overnight while staying in the bay area. travelers who use taxicabs should make a reasonable attempt to see if they can sleep that night in the taxi.
  • when booking travel using the new web based "EasyTrans" application, be sure to check off "Air Freight" as one of the options for "lowest cost transportation comparison".
  • finally, CEO Karla Fidora reminds all employees to do as she does when entertaining customers: pretend you cannot find your credit card, or make up a story about "I forgot to submit my expenses and I think this card is suspended".

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